Just Like a Corporation - Hi Gay, Happy Pride - A Story for Allies
We’ve heard this phrase a lot, especially in June: “Pride started with a riot.” How many of us allies really know how Pride started, the sacrifices made, and why it’s such an important time?
I want to state before going any further that I am writing this from a cis-het point of view for other straight allies. Remember, it is up to us - the allies - to do the work to inform ourselves, and it is not the responsibility of the LGBTQ+ community to do the work for us.
The Stonewall Riots
The Stonewall Riots were named such because in 1969, the police raided the Stonewall Inn, which was a gay club in Greenwich (NYC). The police did not hold back their violence and hauled out both employees and patrons. There were six days of protests and more violence following that raid.
Stonewall Inn was a welcome place for those who didn’t find a home in other gay bars or clubs. For instance, drag queens were allowed in Stonewall, where they weren’t at other locales. It also allowed dancing, which makes it possibly the only gay bar that allowed it. Stonewall Inn was run by the mafia who bribed NYC police to look the other way. While it allowed gay patrons to have a place of belonging, it also meant there were other issues. There wasn’t a fire exit, or running water to wash glasses, nor were there clean toilets. The mafia also blackmailed wealthier patrons of the bar who didn’t want their sexuality to be a public matter.
Most times, Stonewall Inn would have been tipped off before a raid occurred, but on June 28 no tip came. Frustrated with the continuing harassment and discrimination, patrons and residents did not disperse, instead they became angrier and louder. After a woman was hit over the head by a police officer as he tried to force her in a van, she called to the crowd to do something about it. The crowd responded by throwing whatever they had in their hands at the police.
On June 28, 1970, thousands marched from the Stonewall Inn to Central Park. Then it was called “Christopher Street Liberation Day.” It was America’s first gay pride parade.
Why Pride Matters
There will never be a time when someone will ask, “why isn’t there straight pride?” Hearing those questions always makes my eye twitch, but for this blog’s purpose, I’ll assume that the person asking genuinely wants to know. According to The Trevor Project, suicide is the second leading cause of death for teens, but LGBTQ+ teens are four times more likely to consider, plan, and make an attempt.
Forbes reported in 2021 that 375 transgender people were murdered that year around the world, which is the highest amount since records began. Most of the victims were Black and migrant trans women of color as well as trans sex workers.
A study led by researchers at the University of Texas at Austin found that when friends, family, and strangers use a trans youth’s chosen name - not their birth name (AKA “deadname”), their risk of depression and suicide drops.
Pride matters because these youth, these people need to know they are seen, they matter, and they are important; not as we want them to be, but as who they are. Pride matters because a loved one of yours needs to know they’re heard and seen no matter their age, race, or identity. I can speak from experience: you DO choose your family; they just may not be blood. Please stand up for those you love.
How can We be Allies
GLAAD (The Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation) gives 10 ways to be an ally. It’s simple:
Be a listener. Don’t just listen to listen - listen to hear.
Be open-minded.
Be willing to talk. And don’t talk at them.
Invite your LGBTQ+ friends to hang out with you and your family. If you want to prove you’re an ally, make them a part of your everyday life - don’t just keep them off to a safe-for-you side.
Don’t make assumptions. Our default is still that everyone is straight, but that can be harmful, even if the person you’re assuming is straight isn’t out yet.
Stop with the anti-LGBTQ+ jokes. Not only are they not funny, but if you’re making a joke at someone’s expense, you are not a safe person.
This one is hard. Confront your own bias and prejudice.
Defend your friends against discrimination. Don’t do it to be a hero - do it because it’s the right thing to do.
Believe that all people should be treated with dignity and respect.
If you see LGBTQ+ people being misrepresented in the media, contact GLAAD. They are a force!
There are a lot of resources out there if you have questions - a lot of the work has already been done, so go to Google, read a book, watch a documentary - just make sure it’s by a well-respected person in their field and not someone trying to bring down the community.
If you have the resources, look into donating to local Pride organizations. They’re often on the front lines working to help high-risk and at-risk teens, families, and working with organizations to make society a more welcoming place for all.
A Few Respectable Non-Profits
Trevor Project - Focuses on suicide prevention and support across the LGBTQ+ youth
Transgender Law Center - Aiming for liberations, support, and most importantly safety for all no matter how they identity.
Glad - Helping by taking on cases to break down out dated laws.
USA Based Suicide Helplines
Suicide Help Line For Children